Ok...so there is a little religion...
My cousin recently loaned me a book titled The Power of a Praying Wife among a couple other books by Stormie O’Martian. I’m not going to get into the religious aspects here, but there is something I found interesting in what her methods do to cause change in the relationship.The purpose of the book is to cause healing in a troubled marriage through prayer. Instead of praying for yourself/your marriage, the book asks that you pray for your husband instead. It pulls your focus off of your own desires and forces you to look at your partner. Praying for someone, in general, causes you to have more patience, understanding, compassion and affection toward that person. It also reduces conflict because it asks the wife to turn to prayer instead of reacting negatively when the husband is being a tool. It basically breaks the cycle of conflict.
Ok. I got that. But what I REALLY found interesting is that the very first thing you are told to pray for is your husband’s wife. In essence, you are praying for yourself only after taking your own selfish desires out of the equation. You are praying for God to help you become a better person the way He wants you to be, not the way you want to be. While that may seem strange to a non-believer, it seems to me to be a key element of a happy relationship. You don’t have to be religious to have a successful relationship but you do need to be unselfish in your love for your partner.
For a lot of people in failing marriages, that it a revolutionary concept.
…
On a personal note, I have been praying for my hubby in the aspects she advises, not because our marriage is failing but because I want to keep it from getting there. On Saturday the topic was to pray for his work (that he not be lazy or a workaholic, that he find balance, that he only does “good” work, etc.). He ended up getting reamed by his manager that evening because he was working on a personal project when he had work to do. It may not seem like the answer to my prayer until you know how much his projects have been interfering in our relationship. When he came home he was talking about how he realize that he was letting these projects distract him from doing what he should be doing blah blah blah…which is EXACTLY what I had been trying to make him see for the last couple of months…
Maybe there is something to all of this…*shrug*
Labels: book review, marriage
posted by Lynn Barton @ 10:00 AM
2 Comments:
But wouldn't it be better to just discuss with your husband how the projects are affecting your relationships? It kind of sounds like talking to God instead of talking openly about a relationship. I have not read the Omartian's books, but seeing the other Christian based relationship books that come through the library makes me wary of the whole genre.*
But I suppose I can see how this would be helpful for someone who does practice prayer on a regular basis. I think it would be important to both pray AND communicate. Does the book suggest this? Talking through something doesn't have to be a negative experience necessarily, and maybe for some, praying before hand might prepare them to talk about something in a meaningful way, instead of yelling.
I have a whole post about communicating coming soon :)
*(If you really want some outdated nonsense, I highly suggest Every Woman's Battle and Preparing Your Daughter for Every Woman's Battle)
Yeah, I have tried talking to him. It doesn't work. He's good for a day or so and things go back to the way they were. It's really frustrating.
She does say that we do have to have the communication. The idea is to use prayer to put yourself in the right state of mind. It keeps us from saying things that would have a negative impact.
I think another positive aspect is that it gives a wife a sense of influence over her husband's actions. If he's lazy, wasteful, non-affectionate etc, the woman really has no control over him and nothing can change him except his own will. Prayer is something she CAN do to change the situation.
I don't know. I'm not big on prayer. I'm reading it because it was recommended to me and I figured I woudl give it a shot and see what happened :)
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