Four Letter Words that Start with L

Getting into a new relationship without losing your mind.

Here is a great article from the Edmonton Sun about not losing your mind when you get into a new relationship. There is good advice here about keeping your sense of self instead of becoming simply half of a couple, and she also makes good points about not rushing into things. It is really important to let a relationship bloom and grow naturally. Here is a great quote from the article:

"You may quickly usher your new crush to the front of the line, but remember the other people in your life - your family and friends, your sports, hobbies, interests and, generally, who you still are. It's easy to slip into identifying yourself as a half of a couple instead of two individuals with separate dynamic lives. The more whole you are yourself, the more you have to offer others – including that special someone."

Really good advice. Sometimes, though, it's just SO HARD! We've all been there-you're completely crazy in love, you both think you've found The One, and you can't stop thinking about the each other. You know you have to slow down, enjoy the newness of the relationship, and most importantly, hold on to your sense of self. But inevitably, you believe that your relationship is different. All that advice applies to normal relationships, not this special soul mate bond that you've formed. And inevutably, there is burn out. You spend every waking second together, and then wonder why you've run out of things to say to each other. From what I've seen, it's usually around the three month mark that this happens. So just remember, while your relationship is very special, it's not invulnerable. Allowing yourself to be your own person will help your relationship to grow. After all, it's YOU that your significant other fell in love with, not "half of a couple" you. That doesn't mean that you can't spend tons of time together, just make sure you aren't sacrificing too many things you really enjoy or too much time with friends. It reminds me from a great scene from the movie Practical Magic, where Gillian is trying to describe love to her young niece:

Gillian Owens: You ever put your arms out and spin really, really fast?
Antonia Owens: She does it all the time.
Gillian Owens: She does? Well, that's what love is like. It makes your heart race. It turns the world upside down. But if you're not careful, if you don't keep your eyes on something still, you can lose your balance. You can't see what's happening to the people around you. You can't see that you're about to fall.

So remember, if you want that new love to last forever, you have to make sure you keep your sense of self, and slow down and enjoy every stage of the relationship, instead of rushing through them.

Labels: relationships

posted by Mia @ 7:51 PM