Relevant ramblings from my loopy journal...
Yesterday afternoon I was reading a very interesting article on the "reasons" that infidelity destroys American marriages, yet doesn't seem to have as near a destructive impact in marriages in other nations. It was certainly written from the male perspective and uses the American concept of a marriage to condemn itself. Therefore he rendered his article completely illogical (you cannot use what you are trying to prove as proof because you have not proven it yet). It did, however, force me to reexamine my views on a few things (marriage, sex, the media, etc.) even if only in brief.One example they gave was a man on a business trip to NY. He meets a local in a bar. She invites him home. He shows her his wedding ring, and she doesn't care. They have a night of crazy hot sex and life goes on. Aside from the disease factor, I find myself asking what is inherently evil about that? They had sex. In a typical middle-class American marriage, truth would tear the marraige apart. But I am asking myself, is sex the most important thing we provide to a spouse? Is there nothing more sacred in a marriage that can hold a bond between two people? It is fair that seeking sex outside a marriage is held as criminal when married people go elsewhere to have their emotional or psychological needs met all of the time?
Lately new articles have been popping up about the phenomenon of the "emotional affair." So now, not only can we not seek sexual fulfillment outside marriage, but we cannot have our emotional needs met their either? This is the psychological equivalent to putting all your eggs in one basket. Is it fair to your spouse that you must run to them to fulfill your every need?
...I could go on and on about this. Every new thought brings new questions about the nature of relationships, the influence of the media, and (now) the American myth of personal independence.
I'll stop...for now.
Labels: infidelity, marriage, relationships, sex
posted by Lynn Barton @ 8:27 AM
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